20 quick and practical methods to increase your confidence, here we go:
1. Think about someone who is confident and act, talk and walk like him or her. Model their mannerisms and behaviour. It works for them; it will work for you.
2. Smile a lot more. That doesn’t mean putting a silly grin on your face! But smile when you walk down the street, when you meet people and generally be happier even if you’re not feeling that way.
3. Learn from the past; don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s gone; it’s never coming back. Instead learn from it for next time.
4. Buy yourself some new clothes, get your hair done, treat yourself to something new. It will make you feel better and will give your ego a boost.
5. Are you prepared for situations? Are you prepared enough to meet any challenge that may come up? Are you prepared for that meeting, that presentation, that job interview, when you meet someone for the first time? If not, get to it.
6. Play to your strengths. Know what you are good at and expose yourself to these opportunities at every opportunity – because you’re good at it, you’ll enjoy it and have more confidence.
7. Improve your weaknesses. Know and appreciate what these are and put a plan in place to improve them over time.
8. Learn how to say no to people. Don’t be afraid, you’ve got nothing to be afraid of. Just watch the reaction on their face after you’ve said it the first time and there will be no going back.
9. Be positive. Look on the “can do” side of things rather than the “can’t do”. You’ve accomplished lots in your life and you will accomplish lots more in the future.
10. Be in charge of your thoughts at all times. What is a thought? It’s just a question that you’ve asked yourself and the thought is you’re answer. If you’re thinking negative thoughts, you’re probably asking a negative question. Change the questions to be more positive.
11. Whenever you feel a negative thought coming, STOP, THINK, and say is this really important in the grand scheme of things. A lot of the time it isn’t. Many people in life major in minor things!
12. Do you let the words of others affect you? Do you mind what they think of you? Remember that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. It’s not what they say to you that’s the problem it’s what you say to yourself after they have stopped talking that’s the problem. Change the way you think.
13. List the words that you use on a consistent basis when you feel let down or annoyed. People use different words to mean the same thing and depending upon the intensity of the word – this will have an effect on your confidence. Instead of saying “I’m enraged about this” say, “I’m a little annoyed”. Make a substitute list for the words that you use. Make sure they are lower in intensity and then use them. You’ll be surprised with the results.
14. At the end of each day list your achievements and successes throughout that day.
15. Be appreciative of what you have to be thankful for in your life right now. Who do you love? Who loves you? Who do you help out?
16. Every morning when you’re in the shower, play over in your head the events in the day as though they have already happened and they were a success. Visualize all of the meetings that you had, the people you talked to, the outcomes you had. Visualize success and confidence and it will be so.
17. Improve your body language. The way that you move your body has a massive impact on your confidence levels. Move your body assertively and walk with your head up, shoulders back and as though you’ve got somewhere very important to go. Feeling low in confidence? Change you body language
18. Emotion is created by motion. As in 17, make sure you move around consistently. This creates energy and gets the blood pumping around you body – it makes you feel better and more confident.
19. Learn to brag about yourself. Yes, you heard me! Talk about your achievements and successes more than you currently are.
20. And finally – You only live once, so any time that you are down just ask yourself in 10 or 20 years time – will what I am worrying about really matter?
About The Author: Mark Edwards is a certified Success/ Life Coach who specializes in helping people achieve significant change in their lives. If you'd like to learn step by step how to become more successful in life or how to set yourself financially free please visit: The New You, Give Yourself A Life Makeover.
If you'd like to learn how to be successful in life and would like your own personal Life Coach to teach and guide you on how to be super successful click here.
Friday 28 September 2007
Monday 24 September 2007
How To Build Confidence
You are great!
One of the most well known confidence building exercises is to list your own strengths and natural abilities.
By looking at the list it can make you say “Wow, I really am good!”
Another great way of building your confidence and getting in touch with how great you really are is to ask friends, colleagues and people who you know for feedback on your strengths and natural abilities.
Your practical assignment is to list 5 people who you know and trust for this exercise.
Make sure they are from different areas of your life.
List them below:
1. A FAMILY MEMBER
2. A FRIEND
3. A WORK COLLEAGUE
4. AN ASSOCIATE
5. A SOCIAL CONTACT
You might at this stage be feeling a little nervous about asking these people for feedback.
Don’t worry, because you will be only asking for your strengths.
JUST GO FOR IT!
So, how do you go about it?
Well, below is a list of questions that I’d like you to ask to each of your list.
I recommend that you meet or talk on the phone with each beforehand and explain the context of the exercise and then either ask them verbally or give them the questions and either fill in the sheet of paper or email you with their feedback.
They will feel honoured that you have asked them and the feedback that you will receive will truly make you feel fabulous and full of confidence.
Rightly or wrongly, we live in a society where other peoples’ opinions count to our self esteem and confidence.
By completing this exercise you will get some really good insight into some of your strengths.
Often you receive valuable information on the strengths that you didn’t even know you had!
EXTERNAL FEEDBACK QUESTIONS
· What do you perceive to be my greatest strengths?
· What do you like most about me?
· What do you value most about me?
· What three words sum up the positive points about me?
· If you needed help with something, what would you call me to help you with?
After you have received all of the feedback it is now time to reflect on what has been written or said:
How do you feel about it?
Are there any surprises?
Do you feel confident about your abilities?
How can you use this information going forward?
How can you maximise your strengths?
If these people think you have these strengths, so do a lot of other people as well – how does that make you feel?
What are the key insights you have learned?
What will you do now that is different to what you have done before?
One of the most well known confidence building exercises is to list your own strengths and natural abilities.
By looking at the list it can make you say “Wow, I really am good!”
Another great way of building your confidence and getting in touch with how great you really are is to ask friends, colleagues and people who you know for feedback on your strengths and natural abilities.
Your practical assignment is to list 5 people who you know and trust for this exercise.
Make sure they are from different areas of your life.
List them below:
1. A FAMILY MEMBER
2. A FRIEND
3. A WORK COLLEAGUE
4. AN ASSOCIATE
5. A SOCIAL CONTACT
You might at this stage be feeling a little nervous about asking these people for feedback.
Don’t worry, because you will be only asking for your strengths.
JUST GO FOR IT!
So, how do you go about it?
Well, below is a list of questions that I’d like you to ask to each of your list.
I recommend that you meet or talk on the phone with each beforehand and explain the context of the exercise and then either ask them verbally or give them the questions and either fill in the sheet of paper or email you with their feedback.
They will feel honoured that you have asked them and the feedback that you will receive will truly make you feel fabulous and full of confidence.
Rightly or wrongly, we live in a society where other peoples’ opinions count to our self esteem and confidence.
By completing this exercise you will get some really good insight into some of your strengths.
Often you receive valuable information on the strengths that you didn’t even know you had!
EXTERNAL FEEDBACK QUESTIONS
· What do you perceive to be my greatest strengths?
· What do you like most about me?
· What do you value most about me?
· What three words sum up the positive points about me?
· If you needed help with something, what would you call me to help you with?
After you have received all of the feedback it is now time to reflect on what has been written or said:
How do you feel about it?
Are there any surprises?
Do you feel confident about your abilities?
How can you use this information going forward?
How can you maximise your strengths?
If these people think you have these strengths, so do a lot of other people as well – how does that make you feel?
What are the key insights you have learned?
What will you do now that is different to what you have done before?
Friday 21 September 2007
All About Life Coaching
So what is Life Coaching all about?
Everyone loves a definition!
So let’s start with one!
"Coaching is an on-going partnership that helps clients produce fulfilling results in their personal and professional lives. Through the process of coaching, clients deepen their learning, improve their performance, and enhance their quality of life. Beginning with the clients' desires, coaching uses reporting, exploring, and a consistent commitment to move the client forward. Coaching accelerates the clients' progress by providing greater focus and awareness of choice. Coaching concentrates on where clients are today and what they are willing to do to get where they want to be tomorrow." - International Coach Federation, ICF
Life Coaching is all about helping people get from where they are in their life to where they want to get to.
If everyone is being honest with themselves, I think we could all do with improving an area or two of our lives.
But why don’t people do anything about it?
Everyone knows what to do in life to become more successful but they don’t do what they know.
It is a Life Coach’s job to help people get what they want in life in by breaking down the barriers that people impose on themselves.
The best analogy you can ever use is that of a Personal Fitness Trainer.
When you go to a gym they will first ask you what your goals are:
Lose weight?
Lose fat?
Build muscle?
Build endurance?
Increase stamina?
Etc
They will then see where you are at with regards to your goal.
So for example, if you want to lose body fat they may ask you to take a body fat composition test that will measure your current levels of body fat, you may be asked to take a fitness test, asked what your current eating habits are etc
After establishing exactly how much you want to lose and over what period of time you want to lose it the trainer will then devise a plan of action of what you must do in order to achieve your fat reduction goals.
Along the way your personal fitness trainer will encourage and motivate you, ask you questions about your motivations and any barriers that you face and will help you.
The end goal of a trainer is to help you achieve your goals a lot quicker and more effectively than if you did it yourself.
A Life Coach does EXACTLY the same as a Personal Trainer but with areas of your life.
This could include:
· Confidence and self esteem
- Feel good about yourself
- Remove the self doubt
- Meet new people and feel confident
- Speak in front of groups
· Career
- Know what career is for you
- Get a better job
- Do your job better
- Get a promotion
- Start your own business and go it alone
· Relationships
- Develop listening skills
- Work through problems with your partner
- How to get through tough times
- Build stronger bonds
· Communication skills
- How to communicate with anyone
- How to make small talk with strangers
- How to get your point across effectively
· Losing weight/health
- Improve your health
- Reduce stress
- Sticking to a healthy eating plan
- Sticking to an exercise plan
· Dreams and achievements
- Set some compelling goals
- Work out what you want from life
- Provide direction and purpose
- Have more fun
- Have more energy
· Money/Finance
- Earn more money
- Save more money
- Work out and stick to budgets more effectively
· Getting what you want in life
- Becoming more organised
- Getting rid of barriers and negative thinking
- Manage your time more effectively
- Discover your values in life
- Remove the clutter that bogs you down
- How to stay focussed
The role of a life coach
Rather than actually TELLING someone the answers, a Life Coach is the catalyst for getting a client to find the answers themselves.
By asking challenging and thought provoking questions, a Life Coach can unlock the potential in a client.
Coaching is forward looking and focused on the action you are willing to take to get what you want out of life.
Sometimes you just can’t see the wood for the trees!
You so are wrapped up in everyday life that indeed life just passes you by!
Well, coaching enables you to see different alternatives and to take a step back and actually examine your life and all of it’s component parts.
This in turn leads to greater:
· Self-awareness
· Focus
· Accountability
A Coach Is . . .
· Your own personal trainer to enable you to achieve your goals
· Your champion during a turnaround.
· Your trainer in communication and life skills.
· Your sounding board when making choices.
· Your motivation when strong actions are called for.
· Your unconditional support when you take a hit.
· Your mentor in personal development.
· Your co-designer when creating an extraordinary project.
· Your beacon during stormy times.
· Your wake-up call if you don't hear your own.
· And most importantly, the professional coach is your partner in helping you have all of what matters most to you.
How does coaching work?
You now know what coaching actually is, so how does it work?
Well, coaching can be conducted through a number of mediums – here are the most popular:
- 121 sessions in person
- 121 sessions on the telephone
- 121 sessions using email
- Group coaching sessions in person
- Group coaching through the telephone (teleclass)
No matter what method is used the approach is the same.
During each coaching session the coach and the client will discuss and explore the clients’ journey including their goals, wins, challenges, and opportunities, as well as develop fieldwork for the coming week.
Fieldwork isn't like the homework you were assigned in school.
It consists of action steps to move you closer toward your goals and dreams.
The client brings the agenda and the coach brings the coaching skills to create a partnership that moves the client forward.
The client calls the coach at their scheduled time each week.
One-on-One Coaching:
The structure of coaching in the main is flexible.
You can design a coaching arrangement with the client that meets their individual needs and schedule. The basic design consists of:
· 30 minute complementary “is this for you” session?
· An initial one-hour session to create a coaching strategy (in-person or by phone)
· Initial assessment to evaluate work and life needs and establish goals.
· Regular on-going coaching sessions (typically by phone/email)
· Exercises to increase self-awareness, encourage creative thinking, and develop practical skills.
· Full confidentiality
· Quartlery evaluation and review, along with strategies for ongoing support.
Coaching sessions are usually scheduled weekly, lasting from a half-hour to an hour.
Together, you will define the length and frequency that best supports the client. Sessions may be focused on one specific goal or challenge that the client is facing, or on a much broader set of personal or professional issues.
Group Coaching / Team Coaching:
Any one-on-one coaching program can be tailored to a group or team coaching program. This is the most cost-effective model for providing coaching throughout an organisation.
Everyone loves a definition!
So let’s start with one!
"Coaching is an on-going partnership that helps clients produce fulfilling results in their personal and professional lives. Through the process of coaching, clients deepen their learning, improve their performance, and enhance their quality of life. Beginning with the clients' desires, coaching uses reporting, exploring, and a consistent commitment to move the client forward. Coaching accelerates the clients' progress by providing greater focus and awareness of choice. Coaching concentrates on where clients are today and what they are willing to do to get where they want to be tomorrow." - International Coach Federation, ICF
Life Coaching is all about helping people get from where they are in their life to where they want to get to.
If everyone is being honest with themselves, I think we could all do with improving an area or two of our lives.
But why don’t people do anything about it?
Everyone knows what to do in life to become more successful but they don’t do what they know.
It is a Life Coach’s job to help people get what they want in life in by breaking down the barriers that people impose on themselves.
The best analogy you can ever use is that of a Personal Fitness Trainer.
When you go to a gym they will first ask you what your goals are:
Lose weight?
Lose fat?
Build muscle?
Build endurance?
Increase stamina?
Etc
They will then see where you are at with regards to your goal.
So for example, if you want to lose body fat they may ask you to take a body fat composition test that will measure your current levels of body fat, you may be asked to take a fitness test, asked what your current eating habits are etc
After establishing exactly how much you want to lose and over what period of time you want to lose it the trainer will then devise a plan of action of what you must do in order to achieve your fat reduction goals.
Along the way your personal fitness trainer will encourage and motivate you, ask you questions about your motivations and any barriers that you face and will help you.
The end goal of a trainer is to help you achieve your goals a lot quicker and more effectively than if you did it yourself.
A Life Coach does EXACTLY the same as a Personal Trainer but with areas of your life.
This could include:
· Confidence and self esteem
- Feel good about yourself
- Remove the self doubt
- Meet new people and feel confident
- Speak in front of groups
· Career
- Know what career is for you
- Get a better job
- Do your job better
- Get a promotion
- Start your own business and go it alone
· Relationships
- Develop listening skills
- Work through problems with your partner
- How to get through tough times
- Build stronger bonds
· Communication skills
- How to communicate with anyone
- How to make small talk with strangers
- How to get your point across effectively
· Losing weight/health
- Improve your health
- Reduce stress
- Sticking to a healthy eating plan
- Sticking to an exercise plan
· Dreams and achievements
- Set some compelling goals
- Work out what you want from life
- Provide direction and purpose
- Have more fun
- Have more energy
· Money/Finance
- Earn more money
- Save more money
- Work out and stick to budgets more effectively
· Getting what you want in life
- Becoming more organised
- Getting rid of barriers and negative thinking
- Manage your time more effectively
- Discover your values in life
- Remove the clutter that bogs you down
- How to stay focussed
The role of a life coach
Rather than actually TELLING someone the answers, a Life Coach is the catalyst for getting a client to find the answers themselves.
By asking challenging and thought provoking questions, a Life Coach can unlock the potential in a client.
Coaching is forward looking and focused on the action you are willing to take to get what you want out of life.
Sometimes you just can’t see the wood for the trees!
You so are wrapped up in everyday life that indeed life just passes you by!
Well, coaching enables you to see different alternatives and to take a step back and actually examine your life and all of it’s component parts.
This in turn leads to greater:
· Self-awareness
· Focus
· Accountability
A Coach Is . . .
· Your own personal trainer to enable you to achieve your goals
· Your champion during a turnaround.
· Your trainer in communication and life skills.
· Your sounding board when making choices.
· Your motivation when strong actions are called for.
· Your unconditional support when you take a hit.
· Your mentor in personal development.
· Your co-designer when creating an extraordinary project.
· Your beacon during stormy times.
· Your wake-up call if you don't hear your own.
· And most importantly, the professional coach is your partner in helping you have all of what matters most to you.
How does coaching work?
You now know what coaching actually is, so how does it work?
Well, coaching can be conducted through a number of mediums – here are the most popular:
- 121 sessions in person
- 121 sessions on the telephone
- 121 sessions using email
- Group coaching sessions in person
- Group coaching through the telephone (teleclass)
No matter what method is used the approach is the same.
During each coaching session the coach and the client will discuss and explore the clients’ journey including their goals, wins, challenges, and opportunities, as well as develop fieldwork for the coming week.
Fieldwork isn't like the homework you were assigned in school.
It consists of action steps to move you closer toward your goals and dreams.
The client brings the agenda and the coach brings the coaching skills to create a partnership that moves the client forward.
The client calls the coach at their scheduled time each week.
One-on-One Coaching:
The structure of coaching in the main is flexible.
You can design a coaching arrangement with the client that meets their individual needs and schedule. The basic design consists of:
· 30 minute complementary “is this for you” session?
· An initial one-hour session to create a coaching strategy (in-person or by phone)
· Initial assessment to evaluate work and life needs and establish goals.
· Regular on-going coaching sessions (typically by phone/email)
· Exercises to increase self-awareness, encourage creative thinking, and develop practical skills.
· Full confidentiality
· Quartlery evaluation and review, along with strategies for ongoing support.
Coaching sessions are usually scheduled weekly, lasting from a half-hour to an hour.
Together, you will define the length and frequency that best supports the client. Sessions may be focused on one specific goal or challenge that the client is facing, or on a much broader set of personal or professional issues.
Group Coaching / Team Coaching:
Any one-on-one coaching program can be tailored to a group or team coaching program. This is the most cost-effective model for providing coaching throughout an organisation.
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